Duality and Reflection

If there is anyone who understands the conflict of interest being involved with people from the Mirror Universe, it is me. I have the knowledge of what happened in the past, with Kirk, with Sisko... and I have my own experiences. Falling in love with Charles, saving Briana's life... and protecting Mirror Chakotay from *my* Chakotay.

All my experiences have been worked out, concluded. After receiving Chakotay's love, and giving it in return, I had to speak with Charles about how I felt, and where he stood in terms of us. It is quite clear to me now that he never really loved me in a romantic manner... that the kiss we shared was more of an impulse on his part, because he did appreciate the attention I gave him. We... are friends. Good friends, almost like brother and sister - he always did say that I reminded him of Elizabeth, his little sis. I will always care about him, and he's threatened to go after Chakotay if he ever hurt me... I'll have to keep the recent emotional pain a secret.
With Briana, I took a hell of a risk in transporting over to their Enterprise. If I had been caught by the wrong person, I probably wouldn't be writing this now. Fortunately, I was able to give the antidote to her coma to the right man - Major Reed, her lover, whom I had been trying to comfort, and who genially denied that I ever was on the ship. After she woke up, she designed a vicious-looking knife as a thank-you gift, and it was transported to me.
And the last... with enough time, Chakotay really was able to see the effects of his stubborness and jealousy on the people who care about him. He has started to accept the place that his Mirror counterpart has in the Captain's life... and is trying not to let it get to him. That's a great relief to me... so now we can continue our relationship, more or less as it should be, without jealousy on anyone's part.

I'm reflecting on this because of the events of this week. My last entry ended abruptly because I sensed something was wrong in the brig - Seven of Nine was attempting to free Harry Kim's counterpart. I alerted Cornelia, and we both rushed down to the brig, but we were stopped by a forcefield that Seven had erected. Before we could do anything, he grabbed her and transported out of the cell. He had abducted her.
I'm still not sure why she did that in the first place - maybe she felt sympathy with his cause, or maybe she felt that it was a waste of time imprisoning him, when he wasn't volunteering any information. I can only imagine the reprimand the Captain will have for her, once she's considered to be well.

Seven was captured for several days. During that time, she contacted me telepathically... as did her counterpart, Annika Hansen. That woman... is a piece of work. The charisma is apparent, even without actually seeing her. But I knew better to even consider that the praise she spouted was genuine. She said that she wanted Seven to be safe, and to be sent back, but I have no doubt that she had plans to keep her permanently in that universe. It was the Intendant, Kira Nerys, all over again. I wonder if this is always how it will happen when women are in power in that world.
But, as I said, Seven contacted me telepathically. One of those times was when she was in great pain - she had been unwell, and the Mirror Kim took her to see the Dr. Zimmerman of that universe (Zimmerman is the designer and model for our wonderful EMH). Zimmerman probably held a vendetta against Annika, and took it out on Seven, torturing her through her Borg implants... that's about all I could really figure, before the pain hit *me*. She had reached out, after all, and the only thing I could really do was reach back, so she would have something to focus on beyond the pain... and I concentrated so hard that I got the psychic backlash again... just as I had when I had focused on Chakotay, and gotten the feeling that my ribs were broken. I held onto the connection, even after the pain had stopped, and managed to get myself to Sickbay. When I let go of the connection, per the Doctor's orders, I passed out...
When I woke up, Chakotay was holding my hand. I heard the Doctor telling him that the emotional strain was starting to become something physical... that if I continued in these veins, I would die... I told Chakotay I didn't know how I could handle all this, that I didn't know how much strength I had... but he promised me that he was here for me. I squeezed his hand, and passed out again - when I woke up again, he was gone. I recuperated in Sickbay for most of the day, and Chakotay was able to get me out of there in the evening, before I went too stir-crazy. Since then, he has been a little more protective than usual, making sure that I don't overtax myself - and I appreciate it.

Seven was kept safe by the Mirror Kim... and when I spoke with her, she seemed determined to get herself back to Voyager as soon as possible... but I sensed a duality about her, that she was not as emotionless as she usually kept herself. I'm wondering if the experience has unlocked some more of her humanity... but it will be hard to find out exactly what. When she was finally transported back to the ship (in the mess hall next to my table, no less!), she seemed very emotionless, and did not wish to talk to me about her experience, and seemed almost surprised that I had missed her.

But... I will be patient. If what I sensed was accurate, she will have questions for me. It's all a matter of how she processes the information. It may take her some time... but fortunately, time is something that we all have in abundance here.

As for Annika - once she found out that Seven had escaped, the facade of kindness and praise was quickly abandoned. She gave me a threat to give to Seven... and in true 21st century passion, I gave her two words: "Your mamma." For whatever reason, that shut her up, and I have heard nothing from her since. But I don't think that's the last any of us will hear from her.

Now... I have to stop. Circumstances in the past, involving the Mirror Universe and more duality, have ended in tragedy. I am mourning someone who died because she did the right thing, and I listened to it happen. When I see Chakotay later this evening, I will tell him why my mood is somber... and hopefully being with him will help me get past it.